I stared at the faces of those who died. I listened to stories about who they were and the lives they lived from those who loved them most. I watched survivors share their experiences and the ways they served in the aftermath — the courage, the strength, the ongoing battles they still carry. It was wrecking. It broke me open.
Then I was invited to look at the faces of those responsible for the tragedy.
My initial response was anger and fear. But as I stood there longer, those feelings slowly gave way to confusion. Then, after a few more moments, curiosity and a deep sadness emerged — something that felt whole, even holy. Eventually, my heart expanded into compassion.
This was my experience at the 9/11 Memorial on a recent trip to New York City, and one of many signs that my encounters with Jesus are changing me.
I am not naturally that holy or that willing to forgive. That was Jesus in me — moving me from fear to love, from my human perspective to a divine one.
I have been experiencing more and more of these holy moments as I stay connected to Jesus through prayer and practice, and as I continue surrendering to His truth and His will.
For a long time, I thought transformation came primarily through discipline and spiritual practice. Those things matter deeply. But I’m realizing the real power has come through surrender — through allowing Him to meet me anytime and in any circumstance. Through letting go of self-protection, releasing attachment to my own desires, and moving beyond judgment into the space where He is always present.
When I can do that, nothing else matters.
That is what I believe Jesus was showing me during worship on the two feast days leading up to my birthday: the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ and the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.
When we celebrate the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ — also known as Corpus Christi — we are reminded that, as Catholics, we believe Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist. Through transubstantiation, the bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Christ.
What this means to me is that the church building, the music, and even the homily are secondary. Beautiful churches, welcoming people, meaningful music, and thoughtful messages are gifts. But ultimately, I am there to hear the Word of God and, most importantly, to encounter Jesus — truly and personally present in the Eucharist.
What an incredible gift.
And that encounter does not need to be diminished by imperfect circumstances if we don’t allow it to be.
Our role as parishioners is simply to come to Him and be present with Him. That is all. And really, that is what He calls us to every moment of every day. He is speaking to us and through us constantly if we are willing to open our hearts and pay attention.
We have access to His love, grace, and mercy all the time — held within His Sacred Heart. What a blessing.
So I want to offer a few practices that have helped me grow closer to Jesus:
- Invite God into your everyday moments
- Learn about Jesus and His teachings
- Practice moving beyond your initial emotions and desires
- In Mass, focus less on the experience and more on the Eucharist
Recently, I was talking with a new friend who shared that she and her husband were raised Catholic but had fallen away from practicing their faith. As we explored what she believed about God and the Catholic Church, we uncovered several misconceptions she had carried for years. No wonder she wasn’t interested in returning.
I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to go to church. When you truly know Christ — when you have experienced His love, peace, and presence — desire naturally follows. You become hungry to learn more, to grow closer, and to remain connected to Him.
I believe that is where we need to begin.
But this responsibility does not belong only to priests or Church leaders. As parishioners, we also have a role to play in creating a living, vibrant faith community.
Invite God into your everyday moments: A deep faith doesn’t begin on Sunday — it is strengthened there.
Make small amounts of time for God each day. We cannot expect to know His voice if we never spend time listening for it. Pray in the morning. Pray in the evening. Begin consulting Him throughout your day:
- What are You teaching me here?
- Who are You calling me to be in this moment?
- What are You asking me to do?
Don’t overthink it. Don’t be afraid. There is no perfect formula for prayer. Your relationship with God will grow over time. To begin, simply keep it conversational and open. Speak honestly, and learn to listen. (Check out this Simple Guide to Catholic Prayer if you would like more guidance.)
If we are not committed to cultivating a personal relationship with God, we should not expect much to change.
Learn about Jesus and His teachings: We cannot become like someone we do not know.
Commit to regular Scripture reading. The Bible can feel intimidating — and that’s understandable. It is deep, complex, and meant to be studied over a lifetime. No one is expected to open it and understand everything immediately, so let go of that pressure.
Even the best Biblical teachers I know are still discovering new insights after decades of study. Faith is a lifelong journey with the Word of God.
If you’re unsure where to begin, start small. Listen to daily Gospel reflections, attend Mass more regularly, or explore a guided study through resources like Ascension Press, Dynamic Catholic, or Hallow. Your local parish likely offers studies and classes as well.
Move beyond the fear of what you don’t know and simply begin.
Practice moving beyond your initial emotions and desires: Becoming more like Jesus requires intentional practice.
Jesus saw the world differently than we do. He responded from a place of divine love, mercy, and truth. Often, what the world encourages is the opposite of what Jesus teaches.
- The world says protect yourself; Jesus says turn the other cheek.
- The world says accumulate more; Jesus says give freely.
- The world says seek status; Jesus says serve.
So naturally, our first reaction is often rooted in fear, pride, anger, or self-protection. But our initial response does not have to be our final response.
What happened to me at the 9/11 Memorial is an example of this. My first feelings were human and reactive. But when I stayed present long enough, Jesus expanded my perspective.
We need space to respond from the divine within us instead of reacting solely from our human nature.
A simple way to begin practicing this is by paying attention to your emotions. When fear, anger, frustration, or resentment arise, pause. Breathe. Step away if needed. Move your body. Pray. Give yourself space to reconnect with love, openness, and compassion. (Check out part one of my book Take It All Apart: How to Live, Lead, and Work with Intention if you want more support.)
Jesus always responded from love. We can grow in that capacity too — but it takes practice.
In Mass, stop focusing on the experience and start focusing on the Eucharist.
If I could gently stand on a soapbox about one thing as a fellow Catholic, it would be this: we spend so much time critiquing the Sunday experience that we sometimes lose sight of why we are there in the first place.
Should we continue striving to create welcoming and engaging parish communities? Absolutely.
But should our ability to encounter Jesus depend entirely on the music, the homily, the building, or the personalities involved? No.
Our responsibility is to remain connected to Jesus in every circumstance and to become His hands and feet wherever we are planted.
If more of us took that calling seriously, I believe our churches would become more alive. We would worship with greater joy. More people would feel welcomed and invited in. More hearts would encounter Christ.
In the Archdiocese of Dubuque, I sincerely believe that if each of us embraced our responsibility to lead, serve, and evangelize, we could expand both our impact and our witness in beautiful ways. But that renewal begins with personal ownership.
It begins with us.
So if you feel more obligated than inspired when you attend Mass, I invite you to reconsider your focus.
If you feel frustrated by changes in where you worship, how you worship, or who leads worship, I invite you to reconsider your focus.
Jesus is present. Truly present.
You have the opportunity to encounter His Sacred Heart every single time you attend Mass. How incredible is that?
When we return our attention to what matters most and allow our hearts to come alive for Him, nothing can stop us from bringing Heaven to earth.
Grit, Gratitude, and Grace 