Opposing views
opposite feelings
wrestling inside.
This is my reality with you.
Here we are again
but this time
it’s different.
You used to feel
so far away
in these moments
of distress.
Now, I feel you
everywhere,
all the time.
Even when I try
to run or hide
you find me.
When I feel
guilt or shame
you wrap me in love.
It’s uncomfortable,
unnerving even
to be loved this much.
I want to isolate
to be in this pain
alone.
You keep showing up
just sitting,
being.
I want to fight,
be angry,
lash out.
You patiently sit
taking it with grace
and waiting.
Finally, I let
the walls fall,
the tears drop.
I let go.
I surrender.
I accept
your loving embrace.
It’s all I’ve wanted
but never thought
I deserved.
Your love
is a healing balm.
What I need
to get through this.
We will continue
to wrestle
as things
ebb and flow.
But I know
you’ll be there.
You’ll keep
showing up.
This gives me freedom,
to feel,
to be wrecked
completely.
And to know
that with the help
of your love
I will be
better for it.
Stronger.
Softer.
More alive.
More whole.
Grit, Gratitude, and Grace 