The Loving Abyss

This yearning won’t quit. 
The knowing is calling me. 
It’s beyond what I can understand. 
Yet I know exactly what it’s telling me. 

I have a choice. 
Stay where I am, 
Or step into the unknown. 
What will happen next? 

I fear I will be swallowed. 
Never be the same. 
Better to avoid these longings. 
Stay with the guilt and shame. 

I know that road. 
It’s rough but safe. 
It covers me like a blanket, 
Although itchy and wet. 

Is this all there is? 
As good as it gets? 
I can’t rid my mind of the questions, 
I don’t want regrets. 

So I step off the cliff. 
Let the darkness hold me. 
The intensity is consuming 
But I know it is the way. 

In the darkness 
I find the answers 
I thought I would only
See in the light. 

In the darkness
I am changed and freed. 
In the darkness 
I feel peace. 

As I come back to light 
Come back to life, 
Darkness becomes
My safe haven.