Freedom and dependence

Freedom…that word is so liberating, yet so scary. Freedom to choose, but how do I make the right choice? How do I know?
And when I know what’s right but don’t do anything…then…the guilt, the shame.

Sometimes I just want to be told. Surrender. Give me the answer. I’ve made too many decisions today, my brain is fried, I literally don’t care, it doesn’t matter, there’s no path to winning, I’m paralyzed with fear.

Then I let go, I let God. Or let go and let my mom. Or my boss, or my husband. Dependence doesn’t come naturally for me, but sometimes it feels so good. It’s a reprieve of the weight of all these decisions.

Allows me to focus on what really matters. Dependence is a breath of fresh air, a nice break. I can’t do this alone. I need you. I need God. Dependence and freedom can co-exist.