Beyond Busyness & Hustle: Whose Rules Are These Anyway?

“I feel so refreshed…I actually shut everything don’t and didn’t work at all over break.”

A CEO shared this with me our first session back from the holidays. This was significant because she told me heading into the break there was no way she could take more than a day or two completely off (no email, no going into the office, etc.). I was pushing her because I could see that she was beyond depletion.

We all have warning signs that expose we are below the red line…running on fumes. Physically these can manifest as fatigue, sleeplessness, tightness in our chest and bodies.

Mentally these can manifest as scatteredness, brain fog, inability to shut off our brain, inability to be in the present moment. Emotionally these can manifest as anger, shortness, inability to care about things we normally do or opposite where we lose perspective and make mountains out of molehills.

As I create this list, I personally can think of a thousand times I have been below the red line…even as recently as just 3 months ago. So I am sharing this perspective knowing that moving beyond busyness and hustle is a constant and never-ending fight. For people who want to achieve and make an impact, we must be aware of this.

As I create this list, I also think collectively about how often I see these manifest in others in my everyday life. As a society, we are consistently below the red line…many of us without even knowing it or being aware of it because that’s all we’ve ever known.

Even when we are in full control of our schedule and time and choices, we forget that we are the ones making the rules. We have power to set the tone, the pace, and have agency. We don’t have to do any of what we don’t want to do. Yes, there are sacrifices and tradeoffs but there is no one forcing you to do what you don’t want to do. It’s your life.

I watch CEO’s stay stuck in the busyness and hustle. I own my own business and find myself stuck in it. I watch those who aren’t the boss (yet) make excuses as to why they are a victim to the system that pulls them into busyness and hustle when they actually do have some control and power. There is a different way.

I used to pride myself on not being able to sit still. Pat myself on the back for all the things I could get done. I was a machine. That served me well in accomplishing tasks, scoring deals, and getting promotions. It didn’t serve me well in connecting, enjoying, having fun and fostering relationships. For a long time, I told myself that didn’t matter.

The restlessness and the insatiable appetite for more became more intense while the emptiness of life expanded. No experience could make me content. I was always wondering if I’d done enough. So I accomplished more and hustled harder. I would be on vacation in some of the most beautiful places in the world with the people I loved most, and I couldn’t enjoy it…couldn’t sit still. My desires were wired for what next, what else, what more?

I knew something needed to change, likely that I needed to change, and I didn’t want to lose my edge and what made me, me. I wanted both. To accomplish great things and to have peace, fulfillment, and contentment.

I’m grateful for this struggle because in doing my own work I can support other amazingly driven and talented people on their journey. I have come to find out there are many of us in the struggle.

I have witnessed two of the most driven and talented people I have had the honor to work with so far make this shift to the and, while I have continued to live more into it myself. Maintaining our magic and the best parts, while shifting what needed a little adjusting. This is the process we followed to move beyond busyness and hustle to impact and success with fulfillment and contentment:

• Calm your mind, body, and soul.
• Connect with what matters most.
• Reflect on and celebrate the impact you are making.
• Identify the belief or the barrier to fulfillment or contentment.
• Rewrite your rules.
• Reflect, integrate, and adjust.

When this bright, young, accomplished, driven young man sat across from me, I could feel his energy vibrating high. His eagerness and his desire inspired me and we both knew that what made him great was also holding him back.

Our first task (and the hardest for all my clients) was to slow and calm things down. There was no space between stimulus and response. He was a hustler, keeping busy in full “go mode” all the time. Responding and reacting immediately to the environment around him.

He couldn’t identify how he felt, what he wanted, who he was at his best. He was saying and doing things that he would later regret. He was very successful, yet it didn’t feel good. Been there, done that.

We practiced the slow down for a few weeks while also incorporating some reflection questions that helped him identify what mattered most, and bring to his awareness all of the impact he was making.

The combination of these practices brought great insight into some belief and behavior shifts he wanted to make. One day he said, “I realize how that I was in ‘sport mode’ all the time. Rushing from one thing to the next, even when driving. Now I operate almost always in ‘eco mode’ and it’s amazing how much better I feel. I’ve been missing so much that’s right in front of me.”

I had the same realization some years back. In slowing down I realized how much I had been doing because others wanted me to or said it was relevant. I wasn’t spending time or energy on the things that mattered most to me.

So I cut things out, shuffled my time and energy, and actually accomplished more by doing less. That’s what the most successful people do, they don’t do more, they say no to almost everything so they are only focused on what truly matters.

A daily practice that works well for me to continue to move beyond busyness and hustle is changing the core question that usually keeps me on the proverbial hamster wheel. I know it can also be a trap with clients. The question is: “Have I done enough?”

What if this is the wrong question? What if there is a better one? The reality we have to surrender to is that the answer to that is no…we haven’t done enough. There will always be more to do. What we don’t consider are the costs.

I have changed the question to, “What matters most right now and how well am I attending to it?” That question helps me recenter on my priorities, refocus my energy where it needs to be, and find peace and contentment in the progress that I am making.

It takes tremendous courage to identify what needs to to be adjusted and removed, and then to follow through on those changes. Time and time again I witness my clients making these bold choices to come to radically honest awareness, rewrite their rules, and create a practice to continue to reflect, integrate, and adjust.

It’s hard work. It makes people upset. Yet through it all, I watch them get free as they honor themselves. They enjoy more success, more contentment, and shine brighter.

Are you willing to take the same brave path beyond busyness and hustle?

If you need support along the way, check out my book Take It All Apart: How to Live, Lead, and Work with Intention, and head over to the courses, tools, resources, and services we provide at The Restoration Project!