This blog entry is a keynote I was grateful to be invited to give at a Catholic school foundation gala.
37 years ago I was huddled in a car with my little sister terrified because of what was happening in my home and praying God would keep my mom alive. My parents divorced but the struggles with violence, addiction and mental health continued. The wounds and the scars will always be with us.
22 years ago I was begging God not to take my Grandma. My safe place. My person. Since then I have lost count of the family members, friends and others who are no longer here.
18 years ago I woke up on the floor all alone after a domestic dispute with my boyfriend, praying to God for help and questioning why this kept happening to me. This was the end of a long string of abusive relationships I was part of.
Those first 25+ years of life conditioned me, although I didn’t know that at the time. Looking back, that little girl and young woman believed no one could be trusted. She believed something was wrong with her and she was unworthy of love or really, anything good. She felt all alone. She pretended everything was OK and she, I, soldiered on. My belief system was rooted in fear and my behavior and choices were influenced by it too.
I graduated college and was determined for a fresh start. I worked hard, achieved, accomplished, acquired. Things were certainly better because I was physically safe and I was successful by cultural terms, but those wounds were still there. My mind and body were still in protection mode. I was trying to prove my worthiness and do everything I could to make everything and everyone OK…because that would mean I was OK.
Several years into my professional career I was in NYC for work. I woke up one morning looking at the most populated city in America from the window of my hotel room, literally surrounded by humans, and felt so alone. So empty. Everything had changed for me externally, but internally those limiting beliefs and fears were still there. I hit my knees and asked God, “Is this all there is?”
That’s when the seeker and the dreamer in me started to wake back up. See, we all have one. We’re born seekers and dreamers…and then life happens. Things happen to us, culture influences us, other people pile their expectations on us, and it gets easier to simply abandon our dreams and shut down our inner seeker. We start to settle. We stay in the safe middle – where joy and pain don’t really exist. We don’t let ourselves get too happy and we don’t let ourselves get too sad. Our spirit literally starts to die. God in us, the divine part of us, that light in us…goes very, very dim.
We build walls and we create security, doing it all in the name of “being responsible.” Well friends, God doesn’t want responsibility that keeps us safe and comfortable. That doesn’t change us and it doesn’t change the world. He wants us to step into something more risky, radical and maybe even a little reckless. He doesn’t want part of us, he wants the whole thing. That’s what it takes to move from fear to faith in a real way.
Now, let me put it on record that I am no expert and I am no theologian. I’m just an ordinary woman chasing after God. Seeking the freedom and peace that so many of us want, and that I know (because He told us very directly) only He provides.
Each of us has a story. That story has shaped our beliefs and our behavior whether we want to admit it or not. We all have stuff we want to forget, but until we face it and have the courage to give it to God, we carry it around inside us and it impacts and influences every decision we make.
I know this because I’ve been through it myself. God continues to dislodge fear and limiting beliefs in me, and reveal new things I need to surrender or learn from. I know this because I have clients in my office every single day who, for the first time, are speaking out loud the reality that is hidden in their innermost being, and getting free.
There is a battle happening inside each of us, and I want to help us choose the path of faith and allow that divine light in us to become the default and basis of our thoughts, our words and our actions. Because when we heal, the world heals.
That’s what our coaching practice, The Restoration Project, and my book, Take It All Apart: How to Live, Lead, and Work with intention invite people into.
So let’s go back to my story, and then I want to share some practical and tactical ways we can move from fear to faith.
About the time my seeker and dreamer woke back up was about the same time God placed my now husband in my life. This man…he was so good. He was so calm. He was so generous. He was…almost…perfect.
So much so that it sent me into a tailspin. All my insecurities and doubts and old wounds surfaced. I acted out. I pushed him away. I picked fights and said terrible things. Because I didn’t believe I deserved him. And because I wanted to leave before he got the chance.
But he stayed. And he challenged me. He told me the truth while he hugged me. He invited me to look in the mirror and consider what part of this was me. And I went deeper with my inner work. And we worked together. And I healed. And we healed…continue to heal and learn and grow together. I thank God everyday for Mitch and for our marriage.
Mitch loved me not only in spite of my wounds and my crazy, but because of it. Right, hunny?
I invite you to think for a moment about your own story. Where do you need support like that? Where do you need connection and compassion? What do you need to heal?
I invite you to think about others in your life who are deeply hurting and in fear. Even and especially those acting out and making poor choices. How can you move beyond fear and show them love in the way they need it?
My husband was a huge part of my healing because that’s how God works – through other humans. And there was a deeper level of healing God wanted to invite me into which would come through a direct relationship with Him.
I’d grown up going to church, mostly out of obligation. When I was a teen I had a room in the basement connected to a bathroom and if I locked the outer bathroom door and the external door of my room then no one could get in. So I’d “forget to unlock it” on Saturday nights and “have my headphones in” so I couldn’t hear my parents trying to wake me up.
After a few rounds of that game, I came home to find my doors completely off the hinges. Looks like I’m gonna have to go to church now. 😉
God has always been present in my life, especially in those really hard moments. But I used God like an ATM machine. I went to Him when I needed or wanted something. There was no daily investment in a relationship, no willingness to spend time with Him, and no real interest on my part to read the Bible to understand who God was.
Until…I committed to RCIA when Mitch and I married. God captured my heart during that process to become Catholic and He hasn’t let go since. I had to do my part to stay open and put in the work, but I know He gave me that gift of faith. See, even though I was healing, I was still hypervigilant and controlling. It’s just part of my personality!
There are so many examples of how God’s gift of faith has changed me. I say gift of faith because it’s something we have to surrender to and accept. It’s available to all of us, and always has been available to me, I just wasn’t ready to let go of control which kept me trapped in fear.
Some daily examples that show me I’m moving from fear to faith:
- Getting curious when something unexpected or difficult happens vs. getting furious
- Accepting when things don’t go my way and not beating myself up or staying stuck in resistance
- Allowing things to go a different direction than I had originally planned, and finding joy and positive anticipation in seeing what might happen
- Being able to come back to God in me, that divine + protected + open + loving space that is always there – even when the world around me is falling apart I can still access that peaceful and calm space
Some larger, systemic examples of moving from fear to faith:
- Not being afraid to die (genuinely)
- Sitting with the thought of losing everything (my husband, my house, my money, my job, my reputation, etc.) and trusting that I will be OK…God’s got me.
- KNOWING that EVERYONE and EVERYTHING is SACRED
- There are no bad people, but there are people who are suffering. Hurt people hurt people.
Of course, I still struggle (and frequently fail) staying with and inside these truths, which is why my spiritual practices and rituals are so critically important. The world is shouting at us everyday…and the foundation of those shouts is fear. Jesus has something radically different to offer and we must “fight” to choose faith in each moment.
6 years ago I was at the top of my game in my sales career. Earning more money than I ever dreamed possible, enjoying my job for the most part, and winning in all cultural definitions of success. Something still felt off. I felt unsettled. There was a battle going on inside me but I couldn’t name it.
Then I started to have dreams about Moses in the desert. Multiple dreams in a couple months’ time. I kept this all to myself…thinking about it, journaling about it. I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy and I didn’t know if I was ready to face what it meant.
Finally one day, I came home from a stressful day at work and as I was “venting” said to my husband something like, “I keep having these dreams about Moses in the desert and I think God’s calling me to be a missionary or something.”
Mitch, being the wise and steady human he is, said “Linz, I think there might be something more to explore here.” He had watched me try all these different things to ease that unsettledness, and he invited me to take a pause and go deeper.
Fear told me to just stay the course. Fear told me I should be happy with what I have. Fear said, you are good at this and you know how to do it so ignore the restlessness and keep going. Fear said you have no plans and what if it doesn’t work, and so many other things.
The moments I could quiet the fear over those next few weeks in prayer and open myself to something beyond and deeper, I felt a knowing. Not that I knew what I should do, but that I needed to pursue whatever this was.
And so Mitch and I agreed I would leave my corporate job without a plan, and commit to nothing but exploration for 90 days. I hired two coaches (to add to my eclectic group of healers, therapists, spiritual directors, etc.) and we started digging.
That 90 days unraveled me. My identity was so tied up in my career and in achieving, that I had no idea who I was or what to do in this space of not being needed, or not needing to do something. It was brutally uncomfortable. I had no control, no idea of what was going to be next. But it was the best thing for me. With no distractions and no excuses, I had to turn inward and upward.
There was so much revealed and released during that time. And in all that God planted this idea of restoration on my heart. What if you could invite everyone to wake up to who I say they are and to who I say I am? What if you could help leaders really heal and live in alignment and with intention? Fully alive, in full faith, beyond the fear? What might the world look like then?
I started The Restoration Project with no real plan, just ideas to share. Today our team supports value-aligned executives, individuals, and teams across the country.
And last year, I took the frameworks, tools, and stories and put them into a book so we could reach more people. I cannot believe I get to do this work everyday, and I get to witness the stories of clients and people who have used the book to take their own restoration journey.
In the book, I broke that transformation process into 3 simple but not easy parts called The Restoration Process:
- Rebuild Connection
- Restore Intention
- Inspire Action
Rebuilding Connection is about moving beyond stress and distraction and creating a deeper level of self and social awareness.
In a world that is so noisy and busy…that is a very tall task. This is the hardest part of the process for me and for my clients. And it’s a never ending battle.
The steps we need to take to get there include:
- Reconnect with ourselves, God, others, and the world around us: We do this by creating space for silence and solitude. Quiet the noise + Calm the mind and body + Connect the heart + Open and reflect
- The second step in Rebuilding Connection is to Reflect on Our Experiences, Beliefs, and Behaviors: Evaluate the stories and experiences that have shaped us + Identify our fears and limiting beliefs + Consider what lies beyond superficiality + Redefine our priorities and values + Come to terms with where we are out of alignment
- Other steps in Rebuilding Connection include: Identifying Influences + Discovering Patterns + Inviting Perspective + Facing a New Reality + Surrendering & Releasing
Walking through the steps of Rebuilding Connection will help you feel more calm, open, curious, present, and free. You’ll have a better understanding of yourself and more capacity to honor others. You’ll be able to regulate and recenter. You will begin to know and trust the truth of who God says you are: made to love and be loved.
KEY PRACTICES FROM MY JOURNEY: Time for reflection and contemplation and prayer, Bible reading, Setting a daily intention, Having a morning and evening routine, Having a connection ritual so I can stay connected to God throughout my day.
The next part of the restoration process is Restore Intention. This is the fun part. About dreams and goals and plans. But the prior work must be done first to ensure we are not setting dreams and goals and plans from a place of fear or scarcity. We have to work toward truth, goodness, and beauty in ourselves so we can see clearly what God is calling us into.
The steps in this part of the process include: Exploring What is Meaningful & Valuable + Envisioning What’s Possible + Asking for Input + Learning New Ways
Walking through Restoring Intention will allow you to move beyond shallowness and superficiality into depth and clarity. You will find yourself more consistently living with courage and acting with integrity. You will be more closely aligned to God and what His vision is for your life and leadership.
KEY QUESTIONS I COME BACK TO: What does good/success look like for me? What matters most right now? What is meaningful and valuable to me?
The final step of the 3-part process is Aligning Action. We’ve done all this work exploring, discovering and discerning…and now we need to do something about it. The steps in this part of the process are: Determining What Needs to Change + Developing an Action Plan + Receiving Support + Integrating & Assessing + Sharing What You’ve Learned
Journeying through Aligning Action will invite you to move from a fragmented to a more integrated way of being. Your insides match your outsides. You will be co-creating with God more regularly in thought, word, and deed.
The Restoration Process invites us into a new way of seeing and of being. It will transform your heart and mind, and it will change your habits and patterns. It is ever-evolving and ongoing until it becomes part of who you are. We are always changing and the world around us is always changing. These questions, frameworks, and concepts help us to be more intentional. To better understand who God created us to be.
When we as leaders draw on our faith, we cultivate a steady center that guides decision-making and relationships, allowing us to respond to challenges with clarity, courage, and grace.
This kind of leadership is life-giving because it nurtures wholeness—honoring everyone and everything. It resists burnout and ego-driven striving, and fosters a spirit of service and renewal. Restored leaders recognize that their influence is not solely their own; it flows through them as part of something larger which allows them to create cultures of trust, belonging, and purpose that uplift and inspire.
In my own story, I recognize now that the unsettledness I felt for so long all those years ago and leading up to founding The Restoration Project wasn’t because God was calling me into something different. It was because He was calling me back to Himself.
I love what I do. I’m good at it. And I haven’t arrived. My call is and always will be to keep seeking after God. I believe that is your call too. That is what faith is all about. It doesn’t matter so much what we are doing but how and why we are doing it.
So are you ready to take it all apart?
I invite you to consider where you are in your journey of restoration. We’re all in a different place and that is OK. God is with us and we are right where we are supposed to be.
I offer this question to you to carry beyond tonight: What risky and radical reality is God inviting you into?
Finally, I ask you to: Be open. Be curious. Be loving. Be generous.
And as my late grandfather would say, “May God fill you up with all the love you can hold.” Thank you!
Grit, Gratitude, and Grace 