Trust in the Waiting

It’s Holy Saturday. A day of silence and darkness. Lucky for us, we know that the light is coming. But what about the disciples and followers of Jesus?

Many of them thought that when Jesus was crucified on the cross, the story was over. They thought He must not have been the Savior and King they’d been waiting for. The story didn’t follow what they had in their head, it didn’t play out according to their definition of success, so it must have been wrong.

Holy Saturday serves as a poignant reminder to me every year that:

• Just because it doesn’t go my way or work out how I thought it would/should doesn’t mean all is lost
• Surrendering what was for what could be might be an even better outcome
• I may not understand the broader plan and this redirection is just what I need
• I don’t need to know the full plan, just the next right step
• If I truly believe in and trust Jesus, no matter what twists and turns life may take, no matter how deep the suffering, there will be resurrection and fulfillment that aligns with truth, beauty and goodness

Our human desire for power, control, and clarity rob us of so much joy in life. Trust me, I know, control is my number 1 saboteur. My desire for control was created to protect me, and without awareness and intention, that protection becomes a prison.

Not long ago I was visiting with God about this over multiple conversations. Yes, our chats are very open and friendly and I love the way He challenges me to change.

My journey to here has been long. Hours and hours of sitting in silence waiting on God. Learning how to open up and receive His divine messages. For me, He speaks through my heart. It’s taken years to discern between my own ego and His voice in my heart, but I am getting better each day I practice.

The tone is different, where it comes from (heart vs. head) is different. What is spoken is too open, loving and intelligent to be me! And very often, what He calls me into is the opposite of what makes logical sense to me.

Back to the story: I have surrendered my will to God’s many times now, and when I do I am delightfully surprised. Even when it’s initially painful. Lately, I have felt called to narrow my focus for my business to some specific populations of people. I wanted clarity from God so I asked Him for it, “God, I desire to follow your will, please reveal to me what I am to do here.”

I assumed that He would make it clear to me in that moment, or over time through conversations with others and signs (God working through people and the world), etc. as sometimes happens. Answers did come, but not in the way I had wanted or assumed.

God revealed to me that I was still trying to control Him. I wanted clarity from Him on my terms: tell me this path or that path. This doesn’t show trust. He was calling me to trust Him in the waiting, to allow the answer to become clear over time, and simply focus on what’s in front of me and the next right step. This is a whole new level of trusting Him in the waiting that I am being called into.

Based on conversations I’ve had recently with friends and clients, this is an area many of us struggle with and have an opportunity to find freedom.

This level of trust in the waiting requires a different thought process and different practices. We have to rewire our beliefs and our focus.

Do you trust in God? Do you believe His promises?
Do you trust yourself? Do you believe in your goodness?
If so, then trust in the waiting is easy.

Considering this, how might you need to adjust your beliefs? If you don’t trust in God and His promises, I would suggest the Bible in a year plan, attending a Bible study, and/or this study you can do with a group or on your own from She Reads Truth – Promises of God. Many of us who attend church or call ourselves Christians haven’t spent enough time in His word to really understand who God is, what He promises, and what that means to us.

If you don’t trust yourself, I would recommend reading my book, Take It All Apart: How to Live, Lead and Work with Intention. Many of us are unaware of just how out of integrity we are with ourselves and how much that impacts the trust we have in ourselves. We say yes to things we don’t want to, we don’t understand ourselves enough to be real about our strengths and weaknesses, we have wounds that send us into patterns of thinking and behavior that aren’t serving us, or we are floating through life just trying to survive instead of being intentional. All these things inhibit our ability to trust ourselves.

Trust in the waiting requires a partnership and a true connection between us and God that has to be fostered over time and maintained for our lifetime.

It also requires us to regularly practice presence, surrender, and radical acceptance. We must pull ourselves back to the present moment, out of lamenting about the past and worrying about the future. Being fully in the present allows us to bring our power and awareness back to what is here and to take the next right step.

As we walk this path, we must surrender what we thought it would be and sometimes what we desire it to be, and step into radical acceptance of what is. This puts our emotions at bay and brings our energy back to the here and now, and allows us to make the best decision we can from where we are.

When we can’t see the plan or don’t understand what’s happening, we can come back to the next right step and trust that we will be OK as it unfolds and emerges because that is what God promises. Trust in the waiting, allows us to be surprised and delighted about our journey through life. How might you take a step toward this way of living and being?