All that I have built,
everything I have strived for.
I let it go,
surrender it all.
I weep and I mourn.
I celebrate and
anticipate.
Not knowing who I am
or what to do
without it.
All I know is I’m free.
The peace
I have always wanted
is here.
In the nothing.
Then the thinking returns…
How can I hold everything and nothing?
Want to do good and let it all go?
Desire and dream, then surrender and release?
This tug of war is tearing.
I want to let go
and I want to know.
Here I stand.
In the middle
of this trap?
Of this grace?
Is it a fenced in yard
or an unlimited landscape?
I’m scared of both.
Yet the limits make me feel safe,
in control.
God, quiet my mind
and keep my heart
after the
unlimited possibilities.
Even and especially
when my mind
calls me back
to what is comfortable.
Anything is possible.
Bliss is waiting,
but I have to
have the courage
to step into
the unknown.
And then stay there.
In the not knowing.
Beyond comprehension.
In the mystery.
Vulnerable and limitless.
Powerless and empowered.
Empty and full.
Nothing and everything.
Change my desire
from clarity to joy
in all things.
Help me let go
and trust.
Grit, Gratitude, and Grace 